I’m just up thinking about what I wrote last night. Some vulnerable things for sure. I still left out some stuff but, that’s ok. I guess all that came up because of youth group I attended and some of the conversation from the workshop Monday. It’s so common for people who have not experienced loss to think that you move on or get over it. That the paperwork ends once the funeral is over. That it gets easier with time. That’s not the case. One struggle I’ve been having through this process is not truly having someone who understands. I want so badly to meet a 29 year old widow who was LGBT, madly in love, had a future planned and lost her wife to suicide. But, the truth is there isn’t another me. I’m the only me who knows the pain and the heartache. Searching for that understanding from an outsider who isn’t me is just another wave waiting to crash. It’s up there with trying to figure out why my wife took her life. I’ll never know why and I’ll never know another 29 year old who has the same “reality checklist” that I have. Just a gentle reminder that we all feel and go through things differently. That grief is a self paved road. There’s no right or wrong. There’s no journey that looks the same. Hearing similar journeys helps but, your journey is as unique as the love and life you shared with the person you are mourning.
Taking breaths today and giving myself some grace.
Well said !!