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Writer's pictureC. Reis

In Just Four Words

Updated: Jan 24, 2020

There are so many “popular” and everyday 4 word phrases. 

“Let them eat cake!” 

I love you more

You are my Sunshine

I’ll love you forever

Don’t worry, be happy 

Love of my life

Paint the town red

Hook, line and sinker

Read between the lines. 

Get giggy with it

To infinity and beyond

You get the gist... see another one. 


But there are 4 words I never thought I’d read together. 4 words together that should never be a phrase but, unfortunately it’s become a phrase far too many people have seen on their loved ones death certificate.   


I’m not sure why it’s bothering me so much the last two days. I mean, I do. Because it’s always on my mind. It’s been on my mind since June 10th but, seeing the cause of death of my 30 year old wife, written in black and white on an official document is where it stuck.  


Isn’t there a nicer way of saying how she took her life? I mean, what should I expect? She did it. So, why do the words, the words in black and white infuriate me? Why when I read it for the first time did I think “Really? They couldn’t have phrased that any better?” Why when ever I need to do something important like taxes, selling her car, selling my house do they need to see the cause spelled out like that?


“Nothing is black and white” well, those words are. They’re concrete. They can’t be changed. They’re Final. They’re Direct. They’re to the point. I hate those four words. I hate them together. It’s the worst 4 word phrase I’ve ever heard in my life. 


I hate what the words mean. I hate that other people will see that document. I hate that some people may judge her. I hate the stigma on those four words. I hate the act more but, the stigma is why there are so many death certificates floating around with that same phrase. 


So, I decided I needed some new 4 word phrases to share.

Talk about mental health. 

Talk about your anxiety. 

Talk to your kids. 

Talk to your coworkers.

Talk to your friends. 

Talk to your family. 

Talk to a therapist. 

Just talk about it. 

Live to the fullest.  

Support those you love. 

Reach out for help. 

And finally,

I will remember you.  I will honor you.

I’ll always love you.

More, most, more than most and even more than that. -C

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